Night Changes

The night mimics the melancholy my heart unwillingly feels. Darkness abound as you stood there with piercing eyes but not seeing right through me. I have loved you in silence, longed for you in those moments when you are at arms reach and mesmerised by your mere existence. The poignant smell of your shirt lingers,taking me back to the first time our paths crossed. Your warm re-assuring smile is my home, my refuge making me feel safe, loved. Your face is the star against my dark skies shedding a spark of hope to my restless, calloused heart.

I might have felt the need to let go, that I have always known with your blank eyes that I can't and willl never be the one to fill the void. The pain sliced through the hope you unconsiously sprang on me. Your thoughts often wander while I was so eager to capture the littlest detail I could possibly document in my mind. You're always holding on to something, trying to keep yourself pre-occupied to refrain from being alone in your thoughts. From being alone with me.

Incessantly, I have been loving you. All of you. Your silence, your bizarre character, your lowlights, interests ( or lack there of ) and your lack of coherence which leaves me perplexed at times.

The night wind is singing a familiar song of grieve for the love I lost. In the distance, people are dancing to the beat of their hearts but mine weeps silently as it breaks into pieces. I fronted a smile to conceal the pain for you will never know and you will never let me in as someone has already took shelter to your once fragile broken heart.

I have loved you long enough in silence and I will; for the time being continue to love you til I find the reason not to.  Tonight is not an ode to you but; a soundless wail of goodbye as ours will never have an end as we have had no beginning.


"Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Though this be the last pain that he makes me sufferand these the last verses that I write for him".  - Pablo Neruda

♥♥,

Jhesy